I was talking to a friend of mine who is absolutely obsessed about organic foods, chemicals and doing everything right. I am also mindful of type of foods I put into my body and of course type of food my child is eating but her obsession was beyond food, she wanted to do everything perfectly. She would ask me as an intuitive if her daughter is OK? Is she having a good time? Is she healthy enough? Does she think I am a good mother? This was creating stress in her life, her obsession to do everything perfectly was making her tired and unhappy.
The amusing thing was that her daughter was fine and she was having a great time. My friend at the other hand had forgotten to look within and listen to herself, she was constantly relying what books say, what pediatrician says, what other people had to say etc. She was looking outside of herself to find answers. Her goal was to create a joyful life for her family full of laughter and exploration while within she was frustrated.
In order to find joy and parent from a space of joy, you need to find it within yourself. First step is start looking within, you have all your answers, we all have an innate knowledge of how to be a mother, a father, an aunt etc and it is beyond books. It lays within you waiting to be discovered.
Parenting from joy starts within, we parent from example. You may say the words, the right things to your child but if you are not following what you preach, no one will. Start by looking within and allow your light to shine, find your joy about life, about being a parent. Allow your intuition to open and trust what you know.
"Ultimate success comes from experiencing and listening to our hearts, our environment, our spirits, and those that we trust are saying to us. Freedom from what others dictate is right and wrong and their opinion on what works and what doesn't gives us wings to fly and experience life in a whole new way."
Mallika Chopra
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Trusting your intuition
We tend to think that we live in civilized culture, we have computers,TVs, beautiful homes, a job, manners, activities that we tend to etc. We also tend to think of indigenous cultures as primitive cultures. But when it comes to parenting, indigenous cultures seem to know all about it, while in the civilized culture, many mothers and parents are struggling or tend to think of parenting as hard.
Jean Liedloff in her book "The continuum concept" paints a beautiful picture of Yequana tribe, their parenting. One of the things she notices when she was living amongst them, that their children didn't seem to have colic, they were very content and happy, they never threw temper tantrums. She observed the culture and mother-child relationship. Yequana children are never left alone, they are always with the mother or with other members of tribe, they are never left to cry. An infant in this tribe knows he is welcome, he knows his mothers warmth and presence.
I have an opportunity to be in the playgrounds with my daughter and I watch moms and dads chasing their children "Don't go far, I need to see you", "watch out, you will fall" etc and I can't help but think about the Jean Liedloff's book. She writes "A Yequana tot would not dream of straying from him mother on a forest trail, for she does not look behind to see whether he is following, she does not suggest that there is another choice to be made, or that it is her job to keep them together; she only slows her pace to one he can maintain. If he falls, her manner shows him that she is both businesslike and patient if ever she has to wait for him. It suggests that she knows that he will not take any more time that is gracefully necessary before they can continue their way. There is nothing of the judge in her".
I am aware that we live in a different society and we need to approach parenting from a different perspective. I believe that the difference between western and "uncivilized" cultures is the trust in intuition. They trust their intuition and instincts in parenting, in hunting, in survival etc. They don't have books, magazines to tell them how to parent and yet, children seem to be happy, content and psychologically healthy.
As I always say, trust your instincts and intuition. You know how to handle your child, you only need to trust your inner voice.
Jean Liedloff in her book "The continuum concept" paints a beautiful picture of Yequana tribe, their parenting. One of the things she notices when she was living amongst them, that their children didn't seem to have colic, they were very content and happy, they never threw temper tantrums. She observed the culture and mother-child relationship. Yequana children are never left alone, they are always with the mother or with other members of tribe, they are never left to cry. An infant in this tribe knows he is welcome, he knows his mothers warmth and presence.
I have an opportunity to be in the playgrounds with my daughter and I watch moms and dads chasing their children "Don't go far, I need to see you", "watch out, you will fall" etc and I can't help but think about the Jean Liedloff's book. She writes "A Yequana tot would not dream of straying from him mother on a forest trail, for she does not look behind to see whether he is following, she does not suggest that there is another choice to be made, or that it is her job to keep them together; she only slows her pace to one he can maintain. If he falls, her manner shows him that she is both businesslike and patient if ever she has to wait for him. It suggests that she knows that he will not take any more time that is gracefully necessary before they can continue their way. There is nothing of the judge in her".
I am aware that we live in a different society and we need to approach parenting from a different perspective. I believe that the difference between western and "uncivilized" cultures is the trust in intuition. They trust their intuition and instincts in parenting, in hunting, in survival etc. They don't have books, magazines to tell them how to parent and yet, children seem to be happy, content and psychologically healthy.
As I always say, trust your instincts and intuition. You know how to handle your child, you only need to trust your inner voice.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
