As I write this article, my daughter is asleep, I am alone without any sounds in the house besides her breathing. I am trying to write but my mind keeps taking me to her breathing and I find it so comforting and calming. Part of me simply want to walk away from the computer and dive into the sounds of breath.
I am back an hour later and don't even remember what I wanted to write. It was incredible to walk away from the computer, writing, emailing, twittering, facebooking all the same time and listen to the soft, rhythmic breath of a child. I couldn't help but be in an awe, I was aware of the miracle of life. Sometimes, I still can't believe that we are able to create such an incredible miracle as life.
So I sat there, closed my eyes, went within and listened. Children come into our lives and show us that everything is possible, they bring joy, enthusiasm about life and they remind us by their presence that life is about play, laughter, communication and fun.
As adults, we make things complicated and hard, sometimes, we take things seriously and personally. As I sat there, listening to my daughters soft breathing, I kept thinking about how I have been raised to be an adult all the time, to be responsible all the time, to be serious all the time. In my culture, people even get rewarded for being serious. I started smiling, the breath kept bringing me to the present and I enjoyed the moment, nothing else. Just that moment of silence and stillness. At that point nothing mattered but the present. Just breathing.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Permission
My 2 year old already knows the roads and when you are approaching home. Of course about 3 blocks away from home, she started screaming "no home" even though we just spent about 4 hours outdoors having fun.
As we approached, screaming got louder and louder. I have to say, I was very neutral that whole time, it was one of the few times that it didn't bother me, I didn't care what my neighbor are going to say or think. I simply was present and I was allowing my daughter to express her frustration.
It was really funny to see her follow my directions with cry and occasional scream. As we got to the elevator, the only thought in my head was "You are full of S**T little one"
I was very aware of her control tactic and I started laughing. As I laughed, she started laughing and our 2 minute ride in the elevator turned from a frustrated child to a happy child.
I believe it's the permission to express that children need very often. As parents, we can allow them to be without giving them control.
As we approached, screaming got louder and louder. I have to say, I was very neutral that whole time, it was one of the few times that it didn't bother me, I didn't care what my neighbor are going to say or think. I simply was present and I was allowing my daughter to express her frustration.
It was really funny to see her follow my directions with cry and occasional scream. As we got to the elevator, the only thought in my head was "You are full of S**T little one"
I was very aware of her control tactic and I started laughing. As I laughed, she started laughing and our 2 minute ride in the elevator turned from a frustrated child to a happy child.
I believe it's the permission to express that children need very often. As parents, we can allow them to be without giving them control.
Friday, July 3, 2009
random notes
Close you eyes. Imagine being little, having a little body and living in the world of "giants" and imagine being told what to do or what not to do all day long. Yes, children need order, boundaries and schedule but they don't like being told what to do all day long. Remind yourself that even though your children have small bodies, they have big spirits and big personalities that needs to be recognized.
I remember as child being told to say "thank you", "you are welcome", "Please" all the time and I also remember resisting it. I didn't like saying these words. I never wanted to say "thank you" not because I wasn't thankful because of the pressure that was placed upon me as a child. As a mother now, I start remembering many things about my own childhood and recently I realized that when my mother asked me to do something, she never said "please" or
" will you" or "you are welcome" but I was expected to say it. No wonder I resistant.
Today, I don't tell my daughter what to say. I show her by example. I thank others for sharing a toy, I say please when I want my daughter to do something etc.
We teach by example, we don't teach by simply saying the right words.
I remember as child being told to say "thank you", "you are welcome", "Please" all the time and I also remember resisting it. I didn't like saying these words. I never wanted to say "thank you" not because I wasn't thankful because of the pressure that was placed upon me as a child. As a mother now, I start remembering many things about my own childhood and recently I realized that when my mother asked me to do something, she never said "please" or
" will you" or "you are welcome" but I was expected to say it. No wonder I resistant.
Today, I don't tell my daughter what to say. I show her by example. I thank others for sharing a toy, I say please when I want my daughter to do something etc.
We teach by example, we don't teach by simply saying the right words.
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